This Shabbat begins the month of Elul and the Penitential
Season. Given the state of the USA and the world I have a lot on my mind right
now of course. A question that came up
while I was in England, on seeing so many completely covered Muslim women, was
why do traditional religions insist on such great modesty from women, while men
seem to be able to dress almost any way they please. I posed this question to the rabbi of the
synagogue I frequent at home.
Part of my question was based on this knowledge. At Sinai,
on revelation of Torah, and in Nechemia Chapter 8, on re-revelation, all of
Israel, men, women, and children, stood together as one. The same was true for
the courtyard of the Mishkan, the portable tabernacle in the wilderness. It was
not until establishment of the Temple in Jerusalem that this changed. It is
recorded in the Talmud (b. Sukkot) that the sages instituted a separation,
ordering the women to sit in the upper courtyard only. Why? The men could not
comport themselves properly during the Festival atmosphere. Rather than taking the men to task for
misbehaving, the sages chose to marginalize the women instead. And this has translated to a second class
status through to modern times.
Of course orthodoxy will deny this and tell you
differently. When we say the traditional
morning blessings, men say she’lo ‘asani isha – who did not make me a
woman. And they justify this by saying that women are in a higher spiritual
state and they are thanking God for making them however God chose to make them.
Yet the blessing women say is she-asani kirtzono – who made my by His
will. If what the men say is correct, then they should say this blessing too.
The rabbi sent me three web pages in response. The first, https://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/650631/jewish/Do-Women-Have-Something-to-Hide.htm
states that just as the Torah scroll is Judaism’s most sacred object, so we
wrap it up to protect it, so too we cover women to protect them. I couldn’t
believe this! Women are to be objectified, placed on a pedestal and cherished?
Absurd!
The other two articles, https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1248044/jewish/Who-Decides-What-Is-Modest.htm
and https://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/2355529/jewish/Jewish-Feminism.htm
by Chabad wives talk about how women dress, and imply men also dress modestly.
Yet Orthodox men can wear short sleeves and even short pants if they choose.
Orthodox women cannot show elbows or knees.
This is not the same standard.
And of course these articles mention the requirement (sort
of) to cover the hair. Numbers 5:18, in the ordeal of the accused woman states
that she should have her hair uncovered. Nowhere in the Torah is there a direct
commandment for married women to have covered hair. But a presumption is made
from this that they should do. So Orthodox women wear wigs, or snoods, or some
other form of hair covering.
All of this while men do not control their actions. In Avot
we find “Who is the mighty person? The one who controls their (evil)
inclination.” (4:1) Yet we often see men in Orthodoxy getting away with
things.
Hence the rabbis at the Yeshiva
University High School that almost destroyed the entire organization. (https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/08/23/yeshiva-university-high-school-sexual-abuse-lawsuit/?noredirect=on)
And the actions of the Pierce County Chabad rabbi towards women in the
community that led to his resignation (https://www-1.thenewstribune.com/news/local/article233735042.html).
These were in the way of sexual misconduct. Yet Chabad of Washington did not
learn from the YU disaster, and did nothing to reign this rabbi in. And a
colleague rabbi is alleged to have colluded with him, and has not faced
consequences yet.
These kinds of acts by men in Orthodoxy that continue to
abuse women and others are not in keeping with derekh eretz, proper acts, or
with the teaching of Avot, or of any other teachings of Torah, yet they keep
happening, and the leadership allows them to.
At the same time, traditionally, they place women on
pedestals, objectify us, and treat us like property (consider the Ketubah, the
traditional marriage contract – Tractate Ketubot begins “ha-isha nikneit” the
woman is purchased/acquired). There are many orthodox women in Aginut – the chained
status because their ex-husbands refuse to write them a Get – the Jewish decree
of divorce, simply out of a sense of pig-headedness. And no court, rabbinic or
civil, has any power to force the issue.
As a queer/trans woman rabbi with connections to the
traditional world, I have a lot of internal turmoil and struggles when it comes
to issues like this. There is a lot I
love about traditional Judaism, but when I come across rationalizations like
this, I really cringe.
It is my prayer, as we enter the penitential season, that those
in power recognize the error of their ways, and truly come forth to make
Teshuva – repairs and repentance, because far too much damage has already been
done.